Yesterday, when dropping the kiddo off at camp I came across a gang of chickens on the loose. I know that when you think of San Francisco problems, you’re more likely to think about our challenges with homeless encampments in city parks, aggressive panhandling, or public spaces that aren’t very public.
Quite frankly, all of those issues are so 2011. As you can see from the above picture, San Francisco streets and sidewalks are in the process of being taken over by wild gangs of chickens, with the chickens intent on marking their turf, laying down their gang colors, and generally eating any random bit of food left on the sidewalk.
While they might be from the local food-shed, don’t let their quaint demeanor trick you into a false sense of security. While they appear to randomly cluck around San Francisco street corners, I’ve got it on good authority that they are behind the string of recent iPhone thefts across the city. If you see an iPhone on craigslist in exchange for a bag of dry corn feed, and the grammar and syntax appears to have been carelessly pecked-out, you might just be dealing with chicken-fenced electronic goods.
If you happen to see this gang of chickens, or any of the others currently infiltrating the otherwise peaceful and safe streets of San Francisco, use extreme caution. I’ve heard on good authority that these birds, while not armed, are heavily feathered and will use their innocuous and charming good looks to put your mind at ease while rifling through your messenger bag for any overlooked morsels of food from your last trip to dine at the food trucks.
Word on the street is that the raccoon and feral cat populations are not amused with the chickens elbowing in on the free pickings to be had across the city, and are in the process of organizing a coordinated response. As always, keep us in your feed reader and check back regularly for updates to this developing story!