I posted a few funnies on Monday about random goofs I’ve come across in the San Francisco Multiple Listing Service. And now it’s like shooting fish in a barrel when I’ve been looking through listings — the hits just keep coming.
First up, there’s a property that can be sold with the whole houseful of furniture for an additional $3,500. I’m no furniture snob, mind you, but $3,500 for a whole houseful doesn’t seem like a whole lot of money. Then again…
…if it looks like this, I might just pay $3,500 extra to make sure the house is empty when I buy it.
And then there’s this marketing text, which makes it sound like the house needs to visit the self-help aisle at the local bookstore:
Poor house with its poor self-image. I hope it works through its (poorly spelled) dysfunctional layout, gets the Love that it needs and finds some approval somewhere — from the lender or somewhere else.
On the flip side is this self-confident home:
Or this home that IS San Francisco:
Now, sometimes pictures make me wonder just who lives in a particular home. Like this photo, with what appears to be a suicidal teddy bear looming over the head of the bed…and the other stuffed animals scattered about the room, including the ones perched on top of the curtain rods.
Next up: could you please move that “e” from “plane” to the end of the word “suit,” so this makes some sense? Or is there a formal dress code for the master bedroom?
I’m not entirely sure what we’re going for here. Does it need a big slobbery dog to do a little panting?
I know what will always sell a house: a photo that shows potential buyers what the place will look like if they’re total slobs like the current owners.
Buyers in San Francisco are often concerned about earthquake safety. So let’s go ahead and show them what their new house will look like after the Big One.
Yes, I’m serious. No, I’m not kidding. Someone apparently didn’t know how to rotate a photo, so this turned-90-degrees-counterclockwise photo is the primary shot in a listing.
And the one that had me laughing out loud (not just LOL, but seriously laughing out loud).
If you peel up some of that parquet flooring, will it say “butter!”?